Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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