She is in my trunk
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
