is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
