You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
