she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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