sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
