"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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