drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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