lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
