wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
