soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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