Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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