What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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