She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Randomize
