at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
