It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
