He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Buhtt sex?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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