I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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