New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
