As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He shit in the fireplace
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
