I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
