your parents love me but you hate me
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
