just come out here and I will go home with you...
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
