and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
