hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
