I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Randomize