Having a random hookup so left but love u
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize