I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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