Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
