I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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