Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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