SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize