Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
