I wannas sexs uuuuu
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Randomize
