Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
This is my gift to your gina
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