i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
