You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I didn't notice because vodka
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
