So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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