He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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