Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
