Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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