This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
