i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Randomize
