This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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