My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
