You're a womanizer and a bitch.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
