your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
