Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
