Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
