I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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