Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
only if we run a train.
done.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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