Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Randomize
