His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
