:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
