woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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