well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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