Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The uberlube is also flammable
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
