The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Randomize
