I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
