She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
