Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
