is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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